Triple NES Gameplay/Commentary: "Kid Niki," "Castlevania 2: Simon's Quest," and "Time Lord"

Too many music posts in a row, I needed to mix it up and play some good old-fashioned shitty games.

"Kid Niki Radical Ninja (Kaiketsu Yancha Maru)," Irem 1987 NES, I chose this game blind and man was it a stinker. I understand this game saw some success in Japanese arcades, but if this NES port is any indication I can't really see how this game wasn't gutted just to use the cab as a play fort. How this game spawned Jap sequels I do not know. At the very end I figured out to hold "B" + DOWN to throw, I think, the sword, and I think that's how you beat Death Breath.

"Castlevania 2: Simon's Quest," Konami 1988 NES, has been, in my opinion, criticized way way too harshly, thanks in no small part to James Rolfe. Rolfe is, without a doubt, a true genius of his craft and I respect everything he does, and in particular I feel he never grasps at straws like certain other rip-off reviewers out there, meaning he doesn't try hard to make a game appear shittier than it really is. "Castlevania 2" has been a point of debate with regards to this for some time now, some agreeing with Rolfe, while others even go so far as to say it's their favorite in the series. Granted, I will def agree this is my least favorite "classic" Castlevania game (I would go so far as to extend my definition of "classic Castlevania" up to and including "Symphony of the Night," although SOTN was def a bridge between the old and the new) but I wouldn't say it's my least favorite in the series, not by a LONG shot. The N64 games, the retarded fighting game, and some of the handhelds were much much worse and had next to nothing to do with the original concept. Flawed yes, "Castlevania 2" is still very playable and still fun, so don't buy into all the hype until you try it.

"Time Lord," Rare ltd. 1989 NES, this has to be the most average game ever made. I really don't know what else there is to say (one point of note is I am almost positive the code for this game would later be transformed into Battletoads, because it undeniably feels SO much like Rare's impossible frog game). If you took any 100 random NES games, and ranked them in quality, I guaran-fucking-tee you "Time Lord" will sit exactly at number 50. It's almost a skill within itself to make a game so painfully average, so incredibly normal. This game is the equivalent of a Minnesota teenager.

Gaming Table for WH40k

(Click pic to enlarge)
I made this table out of layered sheets of polystyrene mounted onto plywood, each cut using a 1950s jigsaw my late grandpa gave me. The lava river, craters, and overall bumpy textures were dug out by spraying copious amounts of paint into puddles and allowing it to eat away at the polystyrene, dissolving the material. I used the jigsaw again to create the fault lines, this time only using the tip of the saw. A layer of "stone" textured spray paint went on first, and then I highlighted the fault lines with a lighter-colored "stone" textured spray. Craters were sprayed with a "crackle" black spray paint. Lava is scab red, and will be highlighted with some oranges and yellows later, as well as filling the ravine with water effects so it's not empty. The pillars are carved polystyrene with "stone" textured spray. The vegetation is fake plastic branches from Michael's. Next step is to add bridges and small outpost-like structures.