Sunday, December 5, 2010

Triple NES Gameplay/Commentary: "Kid Niki," "Castlevania 2: Simon's Quest," and "Time Lord"

Too many music posts in a row, I needed to mix it up and play some good old-fashioned shitty games.

"Kid Niki Radical Ninja (Kaiketsu Yancha Maru)," Irem 1987 NES, I chose this game blind and man was it a stinker. I understand this game saw some success in Japanese arcades, but if this NES port is any indication I can't really see how this game wasn't gutted just to use the cab as a play fort. How this game spawned Jap sequels I do not know. At the very end I figured out to hold "B" + DOWN to throw, I think, the sword, and I think that's how you beat Death Breath.

"Castlevania 2: Simon's Quest," Konami 1988 NES, has been, in my opinion, criticized way way too harshly, thanks in no small part to James Rolfe. Rolfe is, without a doubt, a true genius of his craft and I respect everything he does, and in particular I feel he never grasps at straws like certain other rip-off reviewers out there, meaning he doesn't try hard to make a game appear shittier than it really is. "Castlevania 2" has been a point of debate with regards to this for some time now, some agreeing with Rolfe, while others even go so far as to say it's their favorite in the series. Granted, I will def agree this is my least favorite "classic" Castlevania game (I would go so far as to extend my definition of "classic Castlevania" up to and including "Symphony of the Night," although SOTN was def a bridge between the old and the new) but I wouldn't say it's my least favorite in the series, not by a LONG shot. The N64 games, the retarded fighting game, and some of the handhelds were much much worse and had next to nothing to do with the original concept. Flawed yes, "Castlevania 2" is still very playable and still fun, so don't buy into all the hype until you try it.

"Time Lord," Rare ltd. 1989 NES, this has to be the most average game ever made. I really don't know what else there is to say (one point of note is I am almost positive the code for this game would later be transformed into Battletoads, because it undeniably feels SO much like Rare's impossible frog game). If you took any 100 random NES games, and ranked them in quality, I guaran-fucking-tee you "Time Lord" will sit exactly at number 50. It's almost a skill within itself to make a game so painfully average, so incredibly normal. This game is the equivalent of a Minnesota teenager.

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